WHAT I HAVE LEARNT IN THE FIRST 6 MONTHS OF BEING A FIRST TIME MUM

I'm back, and with yet another baby related post. Hurrah!

It feels like it's been ages since I last shared something on here so I thought I'd kick things off with a post dedicated to what I have learnt since becoming a mum.

In all honesty, it feels like I’ve barely had time to breathe lately. I am just six months into parenting and I must admit that it has been a whirlwind at a best and a hurricane at worst. Every time I gain confidence and think I have it all figured out Hendrix enters a new milestone and a new phase of difficultness begins.

1. YOU CAN'T DO EVERYTHING

I certainly don't class myself as a perfectionist but I have always believed in the 'tidy space, tidy mind' approach and have really struggled with balancing everything. I spend a lot of time at home which results in major attention to detail - you know that wall you've been meaning to paint for the past two months and the upcycle project you were meant to finish early this year... We've all been there but it's important to remind yourself that it's OK if something doesn't get done.

2. IT TAKES A WHILE TO ADJUST

I really hoped to settle into motherhood quickly - you know the whole "motherhood comes naturally" bullshit... And although I am a lot more confident in my new role, I am still getting used to a lot of things and that's really OK. Mastering anything in life takes time so don't be too hard on yourself (don't I sound like a mum already?)

3. LITTLE THINGS ARE EVERYTHING

A horrendous and exhausting day can be turned around in an instant. A smile, a giggle, a funny expression. Hendrix playing with his favourite toy. Hendrix being amazed by the tiniest things. Hendrix exploring new tastes.

It is the little things that are worth every sleepless night.

Lack of time and space to carve out alone time has also made me appreciate the tiniest things - enjoying a hot cup of tea for example!!

4. EVERY STAGE HAS IT'S UPS AND DOWNS

As you enter each milestone, you will be given plenty of advice from the "know it all's" and be told to watch out for *insert something shit here* and although each stage really does have its ups and downs, each stage is also super exciting and rewarding.

*Hendrix sat up properly by himself a few weeks ago now and it was one of the best moments ever!!

5. YOUR LIFE CHANGES A LOT

I have struggled with this one a lot. I don't think you can ever prepare yourself for how much your life is going to change. Personally looking after Hendrix was the easiest task for me; it was everything else that came with it. I just didn't feel like me anymore (still experience this on bad days) and found my new role overwhelming. I suddenly had no freedom, no flexibility, no time and although we still have bad days, you adapt. Hendrix comes everywhere with me and although our outings may not be as perfect as we make them look on Instagram stories as they mostly involve sick, or a grumpy crying baby, H is always by my side bringing me so much joy on daily basis. We are best friends.

6. ANXIETY DOESN'T LAST FOREVER 

Now, this is a big one. I remember feeling extremely anxious about everything: leaving the house with H, Hendrix crying in public, getting an uber with H, having to change his nappy when out and about, is he eating enough, is he getting enough sleep, am I doing enough?
And although I still find myself worrying now and again, I've learnt to relax and not to care. People's opinions and judgements no longer matter as Hendrix is the most important thing in my life so as long as he is a content baby, I am happy.

7. THINGS TAKE TWICE AS LONG

You are no longer able to just get up and go. Leaving the house with a baby involves preparation so be prepared to be super early or super late.

8. YOU SUDDENLY BECOME MORE MATURE

Don't get me wrong. I still have immature moments but becoming a mum has taught me awareness. It has also taught me not to put up with bullshit.

Your daily life and interests change and you will find yourself connecting with different people. I find myself sympathizing with strangers and their daily struggles and celebrating other mums triumphs. I definitely understand the amount of juggling it takes to build and maintain a household.

9. MULTITASKING BECOMES SECOND NATURE

There's nothing to add to this one. You gradually become a master of multitasking.

10. IT GETS EASIER!!

Now, this one is especially aimed at all the new mums that are finding themselves crying in bed or the shower simply because they feel exhausted and totally overwhelmed. We have all been there and trust me I never thought I would say this but it really does get easier. With time you learn to understand your baby and as they develop, a lot changes.

The first six months of being a mum have been harder than I ever expected but also a lot more emotionally rewarding than I prepared myself for. The time has flown by and motherhood has taught me a lot already and I am sure it will continue to test my patience for many years to come.

The love that you feel for your baby is out of this world and it grows every single day so just hang on in there.

I hope you've enjoyed reading and I would love to hear what you have learnt as a parent?

Love,

A x

MANCHESTER GUIDE: THE BLEND BY CHIVAS REGAL

Today I wanted to finally introduce you to what I hope will become a successful series of a mini Manchester Guide; it is something I've wanted to put together for a while now. Since moving to Manchester, I have fallen in love with the city more than ever; it has so much to offer so I thought I would share some of my picks so that this guide can become your go-to, should you ever visit the city.

So, the first gem that I would like to introduce you to is The Loft - home to a luxury whisky school. The blend was brought to Manchester by a luxury whisky brand Chivas Regal following a series of pop-ups around London. I hadn't heard of the Loft before and nervously booked the experience as a birthday surprise and I must admit I was pretty impressed!!





What to expect? The room looks like a classroom filled with rows of desks, where you get to learn all about the history and origins of single and malt whiskies. The art of blending costs just £15 and includes a complimentary Chivas cocktail (it is all about the Colony) which is pretty damn good. If that wasn't enough, you also get to take home your very own blended whisky.

I have to be honest and admit that I have never had much of an interest in whisky or the whisky world however, I found the experience informative and rather entertaining. The one hour session started off with a talk by a Chivas expert followed by guided tasting and a lesson on craftsmanship of master blending.

The blending - you are given five bottles of whiskies with flavours ranging from floral, citrus, fruity, creamy and smokey which can all go into your final blend in whatever proportions you like. Before playing around with measures and creating your unique blend you get the chance to sample each one while the expert explains the different flavour profiles and character notes.

















Lastly, I have to mention the amazing space and talk a little interiors. The Loft has a very industrial vibe and is filled with many 'on trend' pieces. I am a huge fan of the neutral colour palette, the choice of flooring and the gold accents. My favourite must be the scaffolding board shelving which although seems to make an appearance in every other entertaining space makes a great focal point. I also adore the retro gold shelving system. The use of furniture is very clever as it divides the entire space into multiple areas each serving their purpose. When can I move in?

Regardless of your existing knowledge of whisky, I would highly recommend The Blend at only £15 per person it is worth every penny.

And there we have gem number one; hope you've enjoyed.

A x

HENDRIX EMERSON

I guess you have all figured out why I haven't posted in a long while and left you all in limbo - We welcomed our little baby H to the world on 2nd January 2018 and we could not be more in love. He is just perfect in every shape and form.

I thought it was finally time to update you on what has been going on the past few months and apologise for my disappearance. It's crazy to think that Hendrix is already 4 months old and so much has changed since we first arrived home. They say that the first few weeks are most precious but as a first time parent I think they are also most challenging; I was suddenly responsible to love and nurture another human being which was quite overwhelming and slightly terrifying. Looking back everything is a blur, and there is no difference between day and night; all of my time and energy was consumed by a tiny human. There is a lot to learn and although the instinct does come naturally, at that point I had no idea that it would and constantly worried about doing things 'right'.



Again, being a first time parent comes with pressure and many challenges however, I soon realised that you find your own way. Although is it perfectly fine to take advice, it is important not to get caught up in what others say and stay confident in your new role as it really makes the difference.

Hendrix has always been quite a content baby with sporadic mood swings, he has also been a very clingy baby up to about 10 weeks old. He liked to be held and carried most of the time and slept best when in my arms. This meant ZERO time to myself. I knew that introducing a simple routine would help but decided to wait until H was a little older and let him take the lead. He was fed on demand and soothed when he was frustrated and upset.

Lack of routine and loneliness is certainly one of the most difficult parts about becoming a first time mum. I am naturally quite an organised person and feel that adapting a routine has helped us both a lot as it gives me purpose and it means I have the time to take care of our home as well as have time to myself (if I am lucky).

For the past month or so I have been following a fairly simple routine - eat, play, sleep. Now, there are many different methods out there and everybody will be keen to give you plenty of advice however, I find that following this easy pattern works best for us both. I believe that the original idea behind this simple routine is from 'Secrets of the baby whisper' book however I am sure you can easily access more information on the web.



As mentioned earlier, our schedule is simple and Hendrix is fed every 3+ hours and 6+ hours at night time and although I believe following a schedule has many benefits as it has improved his sleeping pattern and mood, I don't believe in the 'one-size-fits-all' approach therefore I don't stress about it too much. I do believe that a lot of it is down to my confidence and attitude as I feel much more relaxed and have learnt to distinguish the difference between him being hungry and just being fussy or bored.

He has developed so much in the past 4 months and is a proper little boy now. I honestly couldn't wait for him to reach certain milestones (smiling etc.) but the time has flown, it makes me wish I had a pause button. Hendrix still requires a lot of attention but in a completely different way, he is a very alert, active and curious baby meaning he wants to be entertained.

It is funny when they say that your life changes forever, but honestly that could not be closer to the truth. Although I am still adapting to motherhood and do find it extremely effortful at times, I have never looked at something, the way I do with Hendrix and have my heart instantly fill with love. It can be very difficult to get anything done or have any time to myself, but he has already brought so much joy to our life.

On that note, I am going to end this here for now. I can't wait to continue to share more content and updates on Hendrix's development.

Love, A x

PREGNANCY DIARY - HONEST THOUGHTS

So as I have finally decided to share this and made the official 'announcement' on social media, I want this to be extremely honest hoping that it makes at least one woman feel less alone or at least a little more prepared for what can be a huge emotional rollercoaster. 

As of this week, I am 39 weeks pregnant and although it feels like this journey to motherhood has flown by, I also feel unprepared in many ways. Before I get more into depth about everything, I want to express that I am extremely excited to finally meet my baby boy but I didn't always feel entirely happy which made me question myself and the future. 

THE EARLY MONTHS

First of all, my pregnancy was not planned therefore I almost felt like I did not have enough time to register what was happening and how much my life was going to change. I believe the early months are the hardest; the 'silent period' when you are unable to share the news with the world may result in making you feel like you cannot be yourself in many ways. I hadn't notified my workplace until I was 20 weeks pregnant which means that the early days were difficult as I had to hide the feeling of nausea, anxiety and deal with sleepless nights as it was all a secret. 

And although hiding early pregnancy isn't a new issue that women struggle with, I do not think that there is a solution to the 'secret period' considering that 20% of pregnancies end before the three month mark - this makes the 12 week silence understandable. On another hand, being honest and open about what was going on in my life may have made the experience a little easier. 

IDENTITY AND CONFIDENCE

Motherhood is tied up with identity and for a long while I felt like I was losing myself and feared that I would no longer be seen as 'me' but just a 'mum'. Being a mum is an exciting title; it is an addition to my existing self meaning that not everything I am and do should be based around my baby. And while there is something extremely comforting about others being so happy about your announcement, it can feel like people start to disregard you as your own person as everybody concentrates on the bump. 

I am not afraid to say that it was very difficult to picture a happy image of my baby boy in my belly due to such mixed emotions combined with feeling extremely alone in all of this. 

Trying to engage with social media during pregnancy can present many challenges and I can't express how important it is to remember that each woman and pregnancy are different. Self image is a huge part of identity and confidence in women and our tendency is to compare ourselves to others. Dressing confidently was a huge part of my daily routine and although I was aware that my body was going to change within the 40 weeks, I don't think any of us is actually prepared for the huge differences we are about to notice. 

STRESS

You will come across many articles, books, and advice from others and if you are anything like me, sooner or later you will end up stressing over things such as ensuring you have purchased every single item from endless 'essentials lists' you have stumbled across on the web. 

Now, you may also come across pressure around certain matters - one of them being breastfeeding. During one of my midwife appointments I experienced such pressure as my midwife jumped into expressing how important and beneficial breastfeeding was. She also added that it would prevent suffering from post-natal depression which I found to be completely out of order. While breastfeeding is beneficial for you and your baby, there are many factors that can affect your ability to breastfeed. Remember, it is no-one's fault and motherhood will be a massive learning curve but that is OKAY. It is easy to get caught up in what others say but do not put yourself and/or your baby through the stress - instead move on, do what is best for you and simply enjoy the time with your newborn. 

DEPRESSION

I have experienced many negative thoughts during pregnancy and although I wouldn't say that I have suffered from pre-natal depression, I wanted to touch on this subject as it actually affects one in 10 pregnant women - how crazy? Feeling alone and having no motivation to do anything has probably been most challenging. Not feeling like yourself can be extremely difficult and have a huge impact not only on your relationship but work, friendships, family etc. For a while, I felt like I wasn't achieving anything in terms of work week after week which again, had a big impact on my confidence.  I think it is extremely important to take a step back and focus on something that makes you feel good. 

SELF CARE AND HIGHLIGHTS 

Self care is very important. Instead of stressing over the upcoming months and concentrating on negative thoughts, use your energy to nurture your relationship and take time to concentrate on you. Calmness and a positive mindset are crucial. Do things that make you feel good and try to enjoy this crazy journey as it honestly flies by. 

I have touched on many negative thoughts today therefore I wanted to share a few highlights and things I have enjoyed doing 

Shopping for baby bits and bobs

Scans and hearing the heartbeat

A good diet and experimenting with food

Me time - pampering (try plenty of face masks, although I haven't tried one, pregnancy massages seem to be quite popular too?!)

Reading pregnancy books, blogs and checking baby's development on apps

Planning and doing the nursery

Baby's movements

Investing in our space - (as I haven't done much fashion based shopping, I concentrated on  improving the living space as I am a massive sucker for interiors)

THE UNKNOWN

Again, I am currently experiencing mixed emotions as I am more than ready for this pregnancy to be over but at the same time do not feel ready for it to end. Although, I am more excited then ever for the unknown and cannot wait to finally meet baby H, at the same time I am feeling extremely anxious about the near future. 

I hope you have enjoyed this post. 

Love,
A x

AFTERNOON CHAT: CHRISTMAS INTERIOR

A baby post from mE today; you know how much I love interior design, so you can probably imagine that I could not wait to share my latests inspiration. 
December is a very exciting time of year and christmas decorations can change your space dramatically and instantly bring in comfort and tranquillity to your home that may not be as present during other seasons. With the festive season approaching I thoughT I would share some wonderful christmas decor images to inspire others on how to decorate your homes.

PHOTO: West Elm 

PHOTO: TheMerryThought

PHOTO: Lark and Linen

PHOTO: LocalMilkBlog 

I am currently working on improving the blog so please expect more posts very soon. For more inspiration head over to my Pinterest profile and browse through the Christmas board. 

Love,

A x